delorean

I just want to kiss her

yeah I know, that's a lame ass line every man uses

but please allow me to explain

have you ever met "that person" before?

the one you know there is no possible, "legit" way you could be with yet still the connection is undeniable?

like, what is the real probability of inventing time travel just to go to a specific time in space just to see whether or not the connection would be the same back then with the hopes of seeing what would or could happen just to be satisfied selfishly?

like, do I really hear myself thinking this?

what's even worse is trying to convince myself such nonsense is possible almost to the point of believing in the idea

but the point being facing said agony, because you know deep down inside, if there was another time and place we would be what could have been if something else was altered to bring us together

I am not a physics major

rather a hopeless geek who feels “Back to the Future” was foreshadowing the technology to come

but point being you can't deny that feeling

but the only way to face it is to say "I wish I could kiss you"

not just any, simple kiss

the kind where time freezes and the world dissolves

as two paths finally cross with unwavering passion

yeah, that kind of kiss

the all or nothing

everything on the line

take it or leave it

total transparent

I fully accept what may come as a result because nothing can compare to this exact moment

"kiss"

if only she felt the same way

then maybe wasting money on a DeLorean wouldn't be necessary

chirographic analogue

I actually write because I have issues

it's like medicine for me, only without the drowsiness or the dangerous side effects besides somone getting their feelings hurt

that minor issue is easy to overlook because where it really matters most is I need to get these things off my chest

yeah I could very well stand in front of a crowd, holding a mic with a sweaty palm, and recite my concealed emotions to a mislead audience

but the conflict of interest is simply this: I don't write to recite

my words aren't necessarily seeking a publishing contract

nor do I fantasize about a book signing engagement at one of the probably last bookstores in existence

maybe call it a diary, or something equivalent to an individual needing a drink and kush to overcome a stressful day

but it doesn't make the issue go away

I can be free from it for a little while to allow the rest of my senses to come to terms with my reality

the reality being I have issues I'm either not ready to share..........

or simply can't because I'm too complex to understand even for myself

supasoshiaficial

yeah, she's cute

something like the ingredients for a good dream

seemless base to highlight the facial

emphasis on the backfield as if exposing the hunger of us trolls

scroll-liking only the fantasized shots

awesome positioning dreaming of the ideal creaming of two parties

wishing some could be like her

wishing for that one to be like her

no flaws

perfect angles and minimal filters

capturing the a nova audience for the fashion leaves much to desire

even the stretch marks play invisible to the endless pursuit of seeing a hundred plus hearts glowing

if only my double tap involved more than a screen

I mean she's cute

one would be a fool to argue otherwise

but it would be no surprise if she never notices my follow

I mean the total idea is to start a back up page right?

like me liking actually means something

as if there was any chance of getting real gratitude beyond thank you

who the hell do I think I am wanting her to think I'm valid just for liking ten thong shots in a row?

yeah she's cute

but would my time of day be of some value?

no other math is worse than figuring out the probability of the chance of her even noticing me

at least with Algebra you have to solve for a number

I'm just fantasizing over time

her memes complain about dm's so saying "hi" is out of the question

maybe my likes were noticed within the oddK number of others

as a result, I'm part of the drug that pumped her head up

I never knew how good I am with carpentry for that pedestal we built for her seems extremely high

high enough to be confident in the drool that can fill hundreds of buckets

I just think she's cute

but my admiration may be more of an issue than it is a compliment

no my thoughts are not always pure

yet her modeling isn't always "rated G" either

so is it the dealer or the user at fault?

but I could easily ignore the attention she wants just as much as she can lie about her real age

profiles make us fake

yet she's cute

if the world was made perfect then I'd probably have the confidence to date a woman as such

it would be time well spent instead of time wasted pouring into wishing she wasn't so high up

I'm one of them common folks

I don't need the attention like she does

so being with her is more of a problem than an enjoyable moment

she's cute though

and like the plenty of woman I watch pass by me on a regular basis

she's just not worth the time and energy to go beyond uttering "she's cute"

I'm probably not her type anyway.........

media observation

*lowercase intentional*

smartphones have singlehandedly turned everyone into photographers. literally and sarcastically. the birth of social media has given way to the “show it now” mindset. “I look cute” (show it now); “look at the dog humping a towel” (show it now); “look a fight” (WORLDSTAR!!!!!!). you, the reader, get the point.

smartphones have also opened the door to creativity [inserts bookmark]. now, by nature, human beings are creative to certain degrees. we have a simple yet huge entity within us commonly known as imagination. however, I personally feel smartphones (and social media as a whole) has exposed said natural tendency. an expose that has tainted the true essence of creativity (depending on the level and intent of said creation).

true ametur to professional media enthusiasts (photo, video, graphics, music) took advantage of the great potential of the new age technology. just in the past five to ten years smartphones have become a playground for serious creativity and work flow with a wide range of apps geared specifically toward the creation of media content. however, the boom in said technology also gave way to the not so serious social media community who may very well use the devices for it’s original intent. see the irony? bottom line, smartphones enabled the opportunity of choice for its intended user; any and everybody. personally, I reconnected with my first media love: photography. having the ability to take pictures at will opened up my eyes to the world around me just as editing apps created the path for me to share with the world how I see it creatively.

such bliss cannot exist without a sense of debate on what’s real versus a waste of time. “the best camera is the one you have with you;” a debatable statement that gave me a sense of encouragement during my early days of what has now become to be called “mobile photography.” of course said statement is broad and simple considering the number of selfies that flood Instagram and Facebook by the second; a camera is always handy. and of course the viral videos of anything ranging from cute pets to fights to crimes against humanity proves that the world is literally subject to recording and posting for all to see. easy access; yet for how long?

for what it’s worth smartphones can be looked upon in a variety of levels in regard to media. be it skilled or unskilled, anyone taking advantage of a camera phone is a photographer. be it a featurette or a quick upload to Facebook or YouTube, anyone taking advantage of the video recording feature is a videographer. I could talk about the need for training and proper use of such a powerful tool for everyday life; but that would only minimize the adventure in enjoying life through mobile media. just keep in mind holding the phone sideways allows you to get a wider and sometimes better shot than holding it up the normal way………..

#40rare

the earth didn't shake, the sky didn't open up, and nothing remotely dramatic took place. yet, I was laying in bed next to my (sleeping) youngest son while shaking my head at the senseless debate over abortion on social media. it was already three minutes pass midnight before I realized "I'm officially 40." I feel more numb than creative in writing this for I'm at a loss for words yet felt I needed to say something. I'm not at a loss in regards to finally arriving at 40 years; more like what's really the point.

I've accepted my different form of dialect many moons ago. I've also accepted the deaf ears and passive eyes that go along with it. I don't write to gain attention; words cram my mind and I have to free it sometimes. my thoughts and phrases are not for everyone, nor is my opinion on current hot topics that only seem to be famous for about as long as a short exhale on a cold February day in Houston. but the point is more about figuring out the point in writing something relating to my birthday and less about how I express my thoughts.

the closer I get to truly understanding faith, the less I have to say. the more I accept my role as husband and father (which is not an easy pill to take), the less I need to vent. the more I come to understand human beings, our origins, and our selfish behavior/motives; the less I need to join the discussion about topics that really doesn't even hit home.

I disagree with the world and church folk alike because I'm a thinker.

I observe quietly.

there is a such thing as right and wrong; neither of which can be rightfully tagged to perspective. but we're selfish beings, right?

there is just as much need for correction as there is need for approval, yet we want to stand out and get mad when others don't get it especially when we can't fully explain it to begin with.

fact of the matter is I wasn't even sure about writing, yet even I have trouble denying my flesh. 

 I was told you're only going to be 40 once; so here's to looking at 50.